Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Terrorists, Polygamists and Spies, Oh My!

CodeMonkey is not American, so we need to submit lots of paperwork to USCIS so he can stay in the country. This happens every few years. These forms, while deeply aggravating in the way only modern bureaucratic paperwork can be, provide endless entertainment.

In addition to requiring him to list every "business, group or organization" he has been affiliated with since the age of sixteen, he also has to answer "yes" or "no" to a bunch of questions. These are kind of hilarious.

Do you plan to practice polygamy in the United States?

Do you intend to engage in the United States in espionage?

Have you ever engaged in, conspired to engage in, or do you intend to engage in, or have you ever solicited membership or funds for, or have you through any means ever assisted or provided any type of material support to any organization or person that have ever engaged or conspired to engage in sabotage, kidnapping, political assassination, hijacking, or any other form of terrorist activity?

Now, I don't blame the government for wanting to keep would-be polygamists, spies and terrorists out of the country, but I would assume that miscreants would have the good sense to lie on the forms.

But maybe I am wrong. After all there was a job candidate who told the FBI about his child porn stash. On the job application. Actually, that isn't the shocking part. The shocking part is that he then asked if "this was going to slow down the application process."

I suppose we should all be thankful for stupid, clueless criminals.

No comments:

Post a Comment